"An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old." --Carl Van Vechten

"Do not allow long hair black cats to sleep atop laser printers and tape drives. The black hair is almost invisible in black pattens, gears, and rollers." --Jeff Liebermann

"I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..." --Steve Martin

"The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath." --W. C. Fields

"Garfield's Law: Cats instinctively know the precise moment their owners will awaken...then they awaken them ten minutes sooner." --Jim Davis

"How do cats decide when to jump suddenly up from where they were sitting comfortably curled up and dash madly around the room, knocking over everything they encounter? Fuzzy logic." --Andrew Koenig

"Last year a team of scientists published the results of an extensive study of cat language. They determined that although cats may demonstrate a wide variety of vocalizations, they actually only have two phrases that are translatable into human terms: 1. Hurry up with that food. 2. Everything here is mine." --Unknown

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" --Steven Wright

"Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you. Rudimace always peed in our shoes." --W.H. Auden

"A computer and a cat are somewhat alike -- they both purr, and like to be stroked, and spend a lot of the day motionless. They also have secrets they don't necessarily share." --John Updike

"Cats do not think that they are little people. They think that we are big cats. This influences their behavior in many ways." --Unknown

"When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up." --Rodney Dangerfield

"When dogs leap onto your bed, it's because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed, it's because they adore your bed." --Alisha Everett

"The only self-cleaning thing in this kitchen is the cat." --Unknown