"Cats spit on their hands and rub it all over their bodies." --Unknown
"I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William." --Josh Billings
"If I wanted to hear the patter of little feet in the house, I'd put shoes on my cat." --Unknown
"Does ownership of the family cat, and all its by-products, immediately transfer to the female head of the household whenever the word 'hairball' is uttered?" --Barbara L. Diamond
"Show me a good mouser, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath." --Garfield
"A man has to work so hard so that something of his personality stays alive. A tomcat has it so easy, he has only to spray and his presence is there for years on rainy days." --Albert Einstein
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Unknown
"Cats may sense early on that you don't like paw prints on your butter, but they will jump onto any surface in the home as long as no one sees it happen." --Kathy Young
"Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll in a dead fish." --James Gorman
"Apparently, through scientific research, it has been determined that a cat's affection gland is stimulated by snoring, thus explaining my cat's uncontrollable urge to rub against my face at 2 a.m." --Terri L. Haney
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." --Unknown
"It's always blackest just before you step on the cat." --Unknown
"A mouse in the paws is worth two in the pantry." --Louis Wain
"We have a friend who hates cats. Every time he comes to the house the cat sits on his knee." --Unknown